December was a busy month, but then again, most months these days seem to be busy ones. Between final exams, Christmas parties, Emma’s winter singalong concert (featuring an absurdist version of the play Peter and the Wolf), work, and the occasional sleep — December is feeling a bit of a blur.
I’m struggling this holiday season to keep the cheer. I’ve had moments of it, but then there’s a hit of reality that too often follows, and I’m back to feeling Grinch-y and unappreciated. It’s difficult to even vocalize this struggle, because I know it sounds whiny and ungrateful of all the good things I DO have in my life (and I know that #firstworldproblems applies to much of what I’m dealing with here).
But still, I’m not as content as I’d like to be this holiday season, and I wish there was something more I could do about it, other than beat myself up for it.
Ah well. I have a little girl who is SO EXCITED for the big day that she’s already talking about waking us up at the crack of dawn to open presents that Santa (!!) will bring. Maybe I’ll work harder to look at this time of the year more through her eyes, rather than the tired and resentful eyes of her 36 year old mama.
EDIT: Turns out today is Festivus, so maybe my “airing of grievances” is excusable, if only for today.