Category Archives: secular parenting

my zen 5 year old

Isn’t there a Buddhist koan that talks about your child being your greatest teacher?

Hi there.

If you’re visiting here after listening to this week’s Unbelievable? broadcast, welcome across the pond!

This weekend I’m off camping with a bunch of families with the Saskatoon Secular Family Network, so I won’t be around until late Sunday night.  Feel free to check out the entries I’ve had about my interview experience, and leave some feedback.  If you don’t see your comment posted right away, it’s probably because I’m off in the woods, and haven’t gotten your comment out of moderation.

I’m not the praying type, but if I were, I’d be praying for no rain this weekend!  ttfn

 

realization: size doesn’t matter

[oh I can only imagine the spammy comments that title will generate]

Tonight I met with a reading group for the Saskatoon Secular Family Network that I help facilitate.  There were only 6 of us (2 of them being under 4), but we had a great time of connecting and sharing ideas/miseries associated with being parents.  Times like these really charge me up, and confirm for me the passions I have for building smaller communities in the larger atheist/freethinking/skeptic movement.

Right now I facilitate 3 groups/sub-communities in Saskatoon:

It’s funny how each of these groups reflect a passion of mine: family, (rejected) faith, and feminism!

When I first started up the SSFN, the first meeting we had had a turnout of over 20 people!  I remember being stunned at how seemingly-popular this group already was, after only its FIRST meeting.  But as cool its first turnout was, though, I really think that it derailed me in my “mission” (for lack of a better term) in establishing these smaller communities in the larger movement.

After such a high turnout, I spent the next several months feeling bad that each consecutive meeting would have lower numbers — I started questioning myself, as if the reason people were staying away was because of something I had said/did in leading these meetings.  Looking back on those first few formative months of the SSFN, I can still feel the frustration and uncertainty.

Thankfully I smartened up, and realized that my perspective was ALL WRONG.  It wasn’t about hosting “big events,” with monthly themed talks and the like.  The *point* of a secular parenting group is to find support among other parents and family members who are choosing similar parenting approaches.

Since that ah-ha moment, it’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I’m just as happy with a turnout of 5 as I am with one of 50 (though it does help to know ahead of time the 50ish turnouts!).  I recognize that there are amazing connections to be made in the smaller meetings that could never happen in a larger crowd.

And while there are still big, fun events to throw (insert Darwin Day and Camp Hoodoo), I’m just as happy sitting around a table of 4, drinking coffee, and talking about a parenting book with others.

I’m where I need to be.

Darwin Day is tomorrow!

Which means I’m frantically getting things ready, tonight.

Back tomorrow with pictures on how our event goes.  Here’s something to tide you over until then:

December Secular Parenting meeting

Oh the dilemmas of being a nonbeliever in December! What do you do if you are a faithless family in the middle of a month full of religious holidays? This last Tuesday the Saskatoon Secular Family Network got together to celebrate the whole month of December, and learn all about the different ways human beings commemorate the darkest month of the year.

When I was planning the activities for this month’s meeting, a part of me struggled in determining the balance between educating the kids about the religious rituals/meanings found in the various holidays versus inadvertently condoning the religious ideology implicit in the activity.  For example, I asked myself: if I set out a bunch of nativity sets for the kids to play with, am I reinforcing the idea that there really was a virgin birth?

I think I may have been overthinking things a bit — especially considering most of our kids were more interested in spinning the dreidel than debating the pros and cons of the Torah.  But I’m glad that I have these inner struggles when it comes to raising my little freethinker.  I want to raise my little girl with an awareness of how human beings have used faith and dogma in an attempt to answer life’s hard questions — but I also want her to have the critical thinking skills to recognize where these faith systems have failed in their answers and have hurt others.  Teaching her about religion isn’t the same as indoctrinating her into a belief system.

But, back to our holiday party!  For activities, I set up different centers for the kids to check out and learn about the three main holidays of December: Kwanzaa, Chanukah, and Christmas.

For Kwanzaa, we read the book It’s Kwanzaa Time! and colored pictures that showed the Kinara (the candle holder used in the Kwanzaa celebrations). Here are a few links I found that may help your parenting group, if you’d like to talk about Kwanzaa this month:

To learn more about Chanukah, we played with dreidels.  The median age of the kids for our party were fairly young (preschoolers), so we didn’t get into an in-depth discussion about the history of the game.  Mostly the kids just spun the tops for fun — but if you have older kids in your group, I could see this game getting quite animated!   I also found the history behind the game quite fascinating Chanukah links:

To commemorate Christmas, our group had a “cookie potluck”, where each family brought their favorite Christmas treat to share with others. We also did a Christmas ornament craft, and there were plenty of nativity sets for them to play with.

Christmas links:

This year our December celebration didn’t cover the Winter Solstice, but it’s on the radar for next year.  In case you’d like to forgo learning about the religious rituals of December, here are some links for the Winter Solstice (December 21):

And just for fun, here are some other special days you can commemorate this month, if you aren’t a fan of the above:

  • Festivus, a holiday for the rest of us! (December 23)
  • Newton’s Birthday — Crispness (December 25)
  • and Dale wrote about Krismas here (December 25)

Happy however you celebrate this month!

Camp Hoodoo 2010

Well, I think I’ve finally recovered from all the prep and execution of the Freethinker Family Camp, Camp Hoodoo!

I’ll put up a few pictorial highlights of our amazing weekend:


There’s more pictures of our weekend here and here.

gone camping

I’m in the last few stages of planning for this year’s first-annual Freethinker Family Camp — and as usual, I’m finding that I’ve been a little too ambitious for my own good.  Thankfully, many people have stepped up to help and I’m receiving it from some unexpected sources!  (of course, I’m also not getting help from sources I expected, but c’est la vie)

Hopefully this weekend will go well.  Some of the activities we’ve got planned:

  • nature scavenger hunt
  • earth weaving craft
  • face painting
  • slough exploring
  • star gazing with telescopes & planispheres
  • meteor watching (this weekend is the tail end of the Perseids)
  • cooperative musical chairs
  • digging for fossils in potash
  • outside fun with horseshoes, boccie balls, aerobie, soccer, etc
  • listening to a talk from an etymologist
  • campfire time and s’mores (I bought a bag of GIANT marshmallows)
  • “ghost photography”

and of course, lots of general free time for the kids to hang out in the great prairie outdoors.  We’ve got a little more than 30 people signed up to come to camp, and it’s only our first year — pretty exciting!

Sometime before heading out to camp I’ve got to mark 16 speeches, and 2 other assignments — plus I’d like to get some sleep in there too.

Stay tuned for an update on how things went, sometime next week.