A fine line between an E and an I

and no, I’m not talking grammar. I’m talking the line between an extrovert and an introvert.

Me? More and more, I feel like I’m straddling the line betwitxt the two — and these days, I think I’m leaning moreso toward the latter. An introvert! Me?

One of my favorite science tidbits I’ve learned over the years is the idea that the human body completely replaces itself, on a cellular level, after 7 or so years. To think, my whole body is entirely different than it was in 2004, on the most microscopic level!

In some ways, it’s a liberating thought.

There have been many times in my life where I’ve felt trapped by the expectations of others thinking of who I WAS or who I ‘SHOULD BE’ according to their perspective of who they perceived me to be. Thankfully, I usually haven’t let these expectations hold me back from who it is that I’m becoming.

And who am I? More and more, I think I’m moving toward the ‘I’ in the Myers-Briggs scale. To be fair, I’ve always kinda straddled the ‘E’ and the ‘I’ scale on the test, but these days I think I may have crossed over into the ‘I’ category moreso. (for the record, I’ve usually tested ENFP)

Maybe it’s because my job requires me to be ‘on’ so much, and to be interactive with so many people — because being a teacher isn’t typically a role where one hides in the shadows.  And maybe it’s because my teaching gig requires me to teach (and in some ways, emulate) these proper skills in public speaking and proper teaching skills that I often feel even more pressure to be ‘on.’ I just know that, more and more, I crave those EMPTY days on my calendar where I can be at home without anyone or anywhere to go.

This last week’s episode of CBC’s Tapestry pretty much confirmed for me where I think I’m at: “Subtler Ways”, featuring Susan Cain, author of the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking. More and more, I think I’m an introvert.

For instance, I can think of a handful of friends, right now, who are probably waiting for me to call them so we can go out for a coffee or some kind of gathering. That, and I’m sure many of my work colleagues wonder why I’m usually in my office, by myself, during the day’s lunchhour. And again, it’s those empty calendar days that are ones that I crave, more and more. Despite the expectations of who I’ve always been told of WHO I am, I think I’m an introvert. No, it’s not that I’m shy — it’s just that I need some time, by myself, to fully recharge.

And these days, I think I’m okay with that. So if I haven’t called you lately, don’t think that it’s you. More likely than not it’s probably me. :)

One comment on “A fine line between an E and an I

  1. Another Becky on said:

    ENFP. Ditto. And ditto to the E shifting towards I. Our only difference is that I used to be REALLY extroverted. More than I am now? How is that possible? Oh, it’s possible. I think I noticed the shift the first time I realized that my fantasy vacations had switched from being able to bring all my friends and family to wishing I could go somewhere all by myself… Just for a few days. I think three would do it. And I noticed that staff room thing too. I often find myself feeling drained instead of invigorated by being with people and that used to be so different… Of course, there are still some friends who, if I manage to make myself find time to be with them, still fill me with new life and energy and joy… And you’re one of them baby!

    Are you sure you don’t want to come to Twilight with us this Sunday? 😉

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