Monthly Archives: May 2004

Concrete Sky

Beth Orton

Faith has a good side still everyone she ever loved they all turned bad

Constance his own way of breathing and you know

You couldn’t will him to survive

Couldn’t will him if you if you tried, and there’s a concrete sky

Falling from the trees again and you know now why

It’s not coming round too soon

It’s harder than a heartbreak too

I’ve seen your good side but I still don’t know just what it is

That you might want

See you’ve got your own way of moving

And you know you could save me

Save your soul, I’ll save some of you

Save my soul, feel like I’m falling feel like I’m falling

And there’s a concrete sky

Falling from the trees again and you know now why

It’s not coming round too soon, it’s harder than a heartbreak too

It’s tough enough what love will do

So much time gets lost in my mind

But I know now what I must rely on

It’s a sound and forgetting, ain’t the worst thing

I’ve been out walking don’t do too much talking

Wouldn’t take too much time, wouldn’t take all your time

‘Cause it’s as precious as mine

Save my soul, I’ll save some for you

Save my soul feel like I’m falling feel like I’m falling

And there’s a concrete sky

Falling from the trees again and you know now why

It’s not coming round too soon, it’s harder than a heartbreak too

It’s tough enough what love will do

And you’re as precious as mine

And you’re as precious as mine…

Greetings from the ‘Peg.

What a whirlwind past couple of days! I’m writing this from the desk in the U of Manitoba dorm room I’m sharing with her. She’s sleeping quietly in the background, and I feel like the only one in the building that can’t/isn’t asleep (the joys of insomnia — it’s an hour later than the timestamp below states).

The trip out here was wet. It rained and rained the whole 10 hours it took to get out here. Unfortunately, I didn’t get much sleep in the car — but I did get to play trivial pursuit for hours. If you thought I was trivial before, I now have at least 4 more hours of trivial training to add to my repertoire.

Our rooms out here are nice. I’ve got a cable connection to the internet, plus cable TV and a kitchenette (complete with kettle for hot tea!). I’m sharing a room with Laura and another friend is in the room next door (it’s a suite).

All told, we have 10 people in our group from the U of S at the CSSR conference — with seven of us presenting papers. Four of them are done already. Turns out that my paper isn’t scheduled until Tuesday, at 10:45 — so make sure to update that mojo-sending from Monday to Tuesday.

Random impressions of the conference, thus far:

– There’s over 6,000 people here for the different Congresses. That’s a lot of congregated and concentrated geek action.

– While there are that many people here for the entire Congress, there’s only 20-25ish people in our particular conference. When you figure that almost half of them are from my university, it’s a little discouraging. Hopefully we’ll have more people show for tomorrow.

– It’s rained non-stop (pretty much) since we arrived on Saturday. I’m ready for some dry clothes and sunny skies.

– So far, my favorite paper (besides the ones from my fellow Saskatchewan rhetoric-heads) was about Ralph Ellison’s book Invisible Man. The speaker opened his paper with the idea of the word: Do we possess the word or are we in fact possessed by it? It’s an interesting concept to explore — are our words owned by us or are we in fact controlled by the words we choose to employ? During the question time, I felt especially geeky bringing up Kenneth Burke’s theory of logology.

– Along with this issue of the power of words — it was also fun to hear a talk about Southern literature. It’s been ages since I’ve heard a discussion on these works, and it made me especially homesick. Then again, lots of things nowadays make me homesick.

– Tonight we had dinner with a huge group of people at a Greekish restaurant down in the artsy part of Winnipeg. Lots of laughing, wine drinking, and tzaziki flowed. After that, we went to a dessert place called “Baked Expectations” and had our sugar fix. Laura and I shared some chocolate chip cookie concoction.

Hmm. Not much more to really add. There’s still 2 full days of the conference left, then make the long trek back home on Wednesday. I’ve got my camera ready to take pictures of my surroundings, that is if it stops raining long enough for me to take any shots. We did stop by Margaret Laurence’s birthplace in Neepawa on Saturday, and I documented that soggy experience. Hopefully I’ll have more pictures to add by the time I’m home.

So, I suppose I’ll post this mini-epistle and try to sleep. Much more geekery to experience in the morning!

ttfn.

Well kiddos, I’m off to Winnipeg first thing in the morning. I’ll be presenting my paper around lunchtime on Monday. All waves of good mojo appreciated.

If there’s a computer handy in Winnipeg, I’ll break away and purge any blogging urges. I’ve also got my camera handy to document anything exciting. I’ll be back in posting mode by Wednesday.

Be good! ttfn.

EDIT: Oooh, I’ve got kudos from Jordon about my presentation from last week. I’ll take that as a good sign.

Today I played model with Ang as she practiced shooting people for an upcoming wedding. This is me in a Zen garden outside of Innovation Place.

In case no one has noticed yet, I tend to have a persistent case of hyberbole — with a touch of melodrama — appearing especially in my later-night posts. I’m okay, though I do appreciate the good mojo and thoughts and advice sent out my way.

In the car today with Ang, I got to ravage through Marc’s migrated CD collection. This song stuck out to me the most:

Brown Eyed Blues

Ben Harper

If I knew being here with you today,

Would mean being alone tomorrow

I would gladly trade all of my tomorrows away

For a moment with you.

Brown eyed blues

You can find yourself another fool.

Can you look, can you look into my eyes

Or has your heart, said has your heart gone blind?

Can you look, can you look into your own

And find the safe place to hide?

Brown eyed blues

You can find yourself another fool.

Why be with strangers

When you can be with your friend?

If you’re ever lonely

You know I’m lonely too

And I will stay lonely until I’m again with you.

I said brown eyed blues

You can find yourself another fool.

I said brown eyed blues

You can find yourself another fool.

Singing brown eyed. . .

Tonight I had some quality alone time. Both of the things I had planned to do were cancelled, so that left me with more time than I knew what do to with. I ended up walking around some, picked up some whipped cream (to eat with my fresh strawberries — yum!), some cold medicine (I can feel some disease encroaching), and a dvd to watch (the second season of BBC’s The Office).

And as I lay in bed watching the dvd, I got hit with a wave of loneliness. I don’t do lonesome very well, and all of a sudden I realize the reason why I pack my life with so many activities. The fact is, I don’t like being by myself very often. When I am with myself, I start thinking and brooding and contemplating all sorts of things that usually lay dormant whenever I’m rushing to and fro in various activities.

Maybe I should learn to be quiet and listen. Maybe I should stop the rush and just be.

Can being lonesome be productive? Lately I’m finding that even when I’m surrounded by people, I still feel empty and alone. I wish this quarter-life crisis would end already.

[/late night musings]

Yeah, soccer practice was cancelled, but I think it was worth it.